Carpe Diem, Bucket lists and Living my life.

Something that I'm currently thinking too much is about living my life. It's something that it's killing me inside sometimes because I want to do things that I can't and it bothers me. It's something stupid and many people are just thinking 'You don't have to worry about that, you are young yet' blablabla. But I'm 16 and for many people I'm young but I don't think so. I know many people that do things that I could do. But I don't do it why? Sometimes it's because I really can't do it but sometimes it's because it scares me. Fear it's an emotion. It's that stupid emotion that can stop you from doing things or not.

I live in a flat in Barcelona. I have 64 neighbors. We have doorkeeper. The last doorkeeper died months ago. He had vertigo for a long time and he went to hospitals to make tests and that stuff. After falling at the floor he went to the hospital and he didn't get out of there. He was diagnosed with brain tumour and he died few days later.

I'm not here to tell you that vertigo means cancer because NO. I'm here to tell you that this changed my life completely. Might not be now but someday you're going to realize that time FLIES. And you'll be studying at school and next you'll be packing for the final trip with the high school. And that's what happened me. I was a stupid girl the first day at high school and I want to change thing that I did but I can't and I realized that all what I said before it's true. The last April I did my last trip with the school and I won't see some of my friends because they go to a different high school and I won't see them like I used to do the last course. And that scares me. Maybe because I hurt someone with my words. Maybe because I said 'No' to a thing that I wanted but I was in a negative mode.

I started to be more 'free' in March. I made three bucket list. I enjoyed a lot June, July few weeks of August and September. I went to three concerts and now I haven't got money. I went to an amusement park and I went to attractions that I couldn't believe I could dare to go. But I DID. In this period of time I felt like I was doing what I like and what I want. But sometimes I felt down and frustrated because I just, I want to do big things. I was born to do big things guys... You know? 

And doing things that I love makes me feel pretty alive and depending of what I do, pretty proud of myself. I used to think 'that's not for me' but right now I just don't decide what's for me or what's not. I DO IT. I let that my heart decides for me.

Tell me your frustrations, fears or whatever you want, I'm here to help you :). (Or if you want to ask something about me)

You can get in touch with me---> gisellerosette@hotmail.com